I wish you people would understand

I wish you people would understand

I don’t expect sympathy for what I’m about to say.  I’m a narcissist.  I know I’m not a nice person.  I don’t want to be the way I am but I can’t change.  I’ve tried but nothing ever lasts.  Relationships don’t last.  People leave.  Everyone that ever knew me has left me.  I don’t want to be on my own.  I have never admitted to anyone who I am. Life sucks being like this but it’s the way we are.  I wish you people would understand that some of us don’t want to be this way.  I know why people leave me because of the way I am.  I want them to stay but they’ll never know that.  I can’t let people know that it is going to hurt when they go.  That would be like admitting I need them, showing my vulnerability which only I know about.  Can’t let anyone see the soft side but it’s there, always hidden, only visible to me.  Yea, what a great person I am!

17 thoughts on “I wish you people would understand

  1. Omg I’m sorry but what I went through with a person like you! You destroy people’s lives! You pretend to love and care but it’s all an act urgh you should be ashamed you people make us feel not worthy of existing you control and manipulate you cut us off from family and friends you steal and abuse and you want us to feel sorry for you nasty nasty you should be ashamed!!!

  2. Your first step is show appreciation. For the little things they do.Show understanding for the mistakes. ,Can you, thank you, I appreciate, good job. Are some of the words that seems difficult for you to say to someone. Start saying to yourself. It’s nice that you can admit you have a problem. Try saying sorry to someone you have hurt. Small relives can increase.

    Nothing ventured Nothing gained. TRY.

  3. I cannot understand as I cannot get my head around why someone would continually do something knowing that it is going to hurt another person! I was in the mindset that if I explained how I was being hurt and was willing to working with the narc to come up with a compromise which would be acceptable to us both. However, the narc just continued to suit themselves with no respect for me or our child. If you know you are not a ‘nice’ person why do you draw a ‘nice’ person in with a facade and then destroy them? Just be honest from the start and prevent a whole lot of heartache!

  4. I don’t understand. This is a short apology and a wish that “we” understand what? Understand that you rage when you don’t get your way, you manipulate people until they think they’re crazy, you are no one’s ally unless they have something to offer? What part of this can you not change? The burning desire to serve oneself? What do we need to understand that is not obvious?

  5. I don’t know you, obviously, but it seems like you have done what 99% of Narcissists can’t do (not won’t do, but literally can’t): you recognized you have a problem. That’s a huge, huge thing. There are therapists who specialize in treating NPD — maybe you’ve tried that. I think you should keep trying. And maybe you know this: you weren’t born a Narcissist — someone or something made you one. You can heal that awful, devastating original wound. The process will be horrific and more painful than anything you’ve ever experienced, but it can be done with a competent therapist. You won’t want to keep going back to therapy, you’ll feel the old defenses, anger, and self-righteousness coming back, and it will take a long time. But you are so much further along right now than most Narcissists. You have nothing to lose, and everything (a whole life, love, safety, and real joy) to gain. Thank you for posting.

  6. I do feel sorry for you I feel sorry for the giant void you feel at all time and I feel sorry of the envy you feel of everyone, I feel sorry that you chase adulation and admiration like a addict despite the people who are right in front of you and offer love. But you must understand you are poison to people, you lie, you cheat, you manipulate, you hurt people and therefore we have no choice but to leave you! If you were really sorry you’d stay away from real relationship and pay for sex instead of using and fooling people into believing you can offer something you know yourself you are incapable of truly giving!

  7. I also thought that I was a Narcissist but I’m not. I’m a survivor of Narcissistic abuse! I too have many whom will just walk away leaving me broken and shattered. I always thought that I was doing something wrong, everything was my fault. This is what lead me to believe that I was a Narc.. My exterior is built for survival while my interior is soft, warm and loving. I say this to point out that you many be just like me, a survivor of Narcissistic abuse. Seek out help and stop beating yourself up. A true Narc will NEVER ADMIT that they have a problem. OH and SHAME on you guys who BASHED this person whom reached out for help!!

    1. I did not see this as a cry for help. Believe me if she / he wants help they will get it. Do not make me feel guilty for explaining to them how they make me feel. We cannot fix them. They need to fix themselves.

  8. It is very sad and commendable that you could acknowledge these truths(though I doubt you ever would if it wasn’t anonymously), but just like a serial killer that can’t control the compulsion to kill; innocent people cannot just continuously suffer these unspeakably horrific unjustices. I never imagined I could have suffered a victimization like the ordeal my narc has put me through and it is even more mind blowing that so many people around the world are suffering the same tragedies. It’s an epidemic that requires immediate attention in society.

  9. ” You People”??!!! Really??? Obviously, someone in your life has removed themselves from your company, so you have to troll on this site for a victim to get your rocks off. MF -er please. If, by some act of God, there is a shred of ‘ i wanna get help’ shut the hole in your face and do it. ’cause we don’y give a shit.

  10. “We” need to understand?? You need to understand the pain you cause with everyone you meet. Why does everyone leave you? You are still blaming everyone else. People do not have to put up with being abused by you. My sister has been has been abusing me for years and in spite of of her jealously I continued to be a good sister and help her whenever she needed me. (My mother also used ask me to help her because she felt sorry for her.) Her life has been a series of bad choices. All I ever wanted was her to be nice, but instead I got ridiculed and bashed for things she told me I was thinking, which was totally untrue. She would make fun of me and tell me I thought I was pious sitting on my pedestal looking down and judging everyone. I also can never figure out what it is that sets her off. And once she goes off on me she won’t quit. She just goes on and on, until I think I am going crazy. She will say things and then contradict herself five minutes later. Other times she will deny ever saying things I know she said. Other times things she say make no sense. I went no contact with her a year ago and now she tells my daughter she has no idea what is wrong with me. So, do not tell me I need to understand you. I understand that everything you do a choice. I would be happy if my sister would pretend to be nice to me. She pretends with everyone else. You should try that.

  11. Really, I guess that proves doing the same thing over and over expecting different results it’s mental illness. So now that you know what you are why don’t you stop searching out victims. Narcissists lie, cheat and quite honestly do not care what they do as long as they get what they want . The only way I’d have sympathy is if narcissists acknowledge what they are, void of emotion, you don’t even love your own children. I still can’t figure out what’s worse a narcissistic parent of parter but I do know you all came from hell

  12. “We” need to understand?? You need to understand the pain you cause with everyone you meet. Why does everyone leave you? You are still blaming everyone else. People do not have to put up with being abused by you. My sister has been has been abusing me for years and in spite of of her jealously I continued to be a good sister and help her whenever she needed me. (My mother also used ask me to help her because she felt sorry for her.) Her life has been a series of bad choices. All I ever wanted was her to be nice, but instead I got ridiculed and bashed for things she told me I was thinking, which was totally untrue. She would make fun of me and tell me I thought I was pious sitting on my pedestal looking down and judging everyone. I also can never figure out what it is that sets her off. And once she goes off on me she won’t quit. She just goes on and on, until I think I am going crazy. She will say things and then contradict herself five minutes later. Other times she will deny every saying things I know she said. Other times things she say make no sense. I went no contact with her a year ago and now she tells my daughter she has no idea what is wrong with me.

  13. Im scared to write this but here I go. The one thing i found hard to live with or should I say without was touch, attention (positive) as there were constant put downs!
    The only time there was intimacy was when my Narc wanted to get his rocks off.
    The other isues i noticed was the flirting and staring at other women when we were put.
    Then after two years of living together the Narcs anger went from verbal to physical (throat grabbing, bruising all over my body from his punches )

  14. If you cant ever show sincere vulnerability, a real meaningful and intimate relationship will never ever be possible.
    Period.

  15. You don’t get it. You are NOT the victim. I do not feel sorry for you. You know what you need to do to have a friend or relationship with someone, but you keep on being self centered, mean, hateful, and care about no one but yourself. Your life is a direct result of how you treat people. Would you want to be around someone like yourself?? You can control yourself if you want to bad enough. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. Fake it if you have too! Keep your mouth shut!! It is your fault no one wants to be around you…..NOT our fault. I am sick to death of narcissists and it took me 70 years to get fed up because I kept trying to get along. I made excuses for my sister (narc). I’d tell myself she had mental issues and I should be a better person and overlook things. I would feel sorry for her because she had no other family other than me. I took her on vacations, helped her move, wallpapered her kitchen, had a couple of big parties one for her 50th birthday and another a wedding dinner party. I could go on and on. All I wanted in return was for her to be nice to me. Her words could tear out a person’s heart….only for it to be turned around and be my fault. AND YOU ARE TELLING US WE DONT UNDERSTAND YOU? We understand! You do not understand the agony and pain you cause people and we do not choose to be around you!

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