I feel like this is psycho behaviour and is unacceptable

I feel like this is psycho behaviour and is unacceptable

My boyfriend of almost 8 months has had a rough past few relationships that have ended with the female cheating. So I understand this is a sensitive area for him.

I don’t go out with friends, I don’t drink, I am not flirty, I don’t dress provocative, etc. I do have two exes on fb (he does too) who were short term and we both realized we were better friends and romantic partners. Even still, I NEVER do more than like a family photo or wish them happy birthday.

My childhood friend from elementary and middle school has decided to relocate potentially to the area where I am. This is someone I grew up with and have never had any romantic interest in whatsoever.

But according to my boyfriend “my eyes lit up” when I told him about the prospect of my friend moving down here. 🙄

So with this “concrete evidence” my boyfriend decided it was wise to use some high tech hacking software to hack into my fb messenger to read any messages, there were a few with my friend but they were all innocent.

Yet somehow he’s found a way to misconstrue what he read when my friend referred to my boyfriend by his last name saying “yeah but is (last name) going to be okay with it?” I told him yes, he already knew and that once they met he’d see there’s nothing more than a brother/sister type relationship.

I’m VERY upset that he hacked into my fb. He didn’t guess the password. He used hacking software to gain access and claims he can access ANYTHING I have including texts, messages, emails etc.

I have been abused, controlled and treated like crap in multiple previous relationships and I feel like this is psycho behaviour and is unacceptable.

Am I being ridiculous? How would you handle this?

7 thoughts on “I feel like this is psycho behaviour and is unacceptable

  1. This is abnormal behavior and he violated your privacy. If you start excusing his controlling ways and his attempt isolate you from friends, it’s going to end up badly for you. If he treated his prior girlfriends this way, I can see why they would run. I’m speaking from experience. There is nothing you did wrong to warrant his behavior. You deserve love and respect from yourself and others. If you still want to proceed with this relationship please educate yourself on codependency. There’s a great book called ‘when pleasing you is killing me’ and you tube videos which are helpful in teaching us how to set boundaries.

  2. You see a huge red flag here dont you? Sneaking, evading is a major character flaw. You cannot condone it. Leave this guy. This is not a good thing. It will escalte into more controlling and covert behavior over time. My advice is dont waste any more time with him – Leave or kick him out – whatever it is.

  3. First question, do you enjoy or appreciate the extra effort your boyfriend has or is putting into searching for indiscretions? Secondly, if you are asking us about what we think about a situation, maybe the question should really be turned back around to yourself. What would you tell a friend who asked you exactly what you are searching for.

  4. My ex was exactly the same. They are toxic people who will find whatever eveiddnce they need whenever they need no matter what you do. Leave now before they cause you more problems than you need.

  5. Run. Run now, and don’t look back. You’ve only been together 8 months, which puts you in the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship. This can and will only get worse.
    He violated your privacy in a horrible way, and he doesn’t trust you. Now, you shouldn’t trust him anymore either. There’s no basis for a relationship here, only for controlling behaviour and a whole lot of trouble for you.

  6. Ruuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnn!!! As fast and as far as you can. ANYONE exhibiting these types of controlling behaviours, is a psycho. He has violated you. He is twisting the truth (misconstruing what was written about him), to create guilt. He is threatened by your friend because he is of the opposite sex and trying to isolate you. Trust me if he gets his way on that subject, there’ll be another person in your life who will be his next target to remove. Their NEEDS are insatiable. This is just the beginning of a VERY SCARY ride. The fact that your friend is asking those types of questions should tell you that you’re already being defensive and cautious about your friendship that is long standing and was there long before psycho came along. So many red flags. It’s not your job to coddle your boyfriends DEEP INSECURITIES. Pack up and go and DO NOT LOOK BACK. Do not maintain any contact with this person.

  7. Having been on the receiving end of similar behavior, I know what I would do. However, I’m going to ask you a question.
    If a dear friend told you this, how would YOU advise THEM?
    If you would advise them to run, why are you still with him?
    Just something to think about.

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