How do I grieve and let go?
I’d love feedback from survivors on what they did to move on from their Narco-ex. I have been broken up with mine for 8 months and I still have this overwhelming feeling of love for him. All the literature tells me it’s not love but an addiction to the man he pretended to be. I get that, intellectually, but it’s hard to separate what I know from what I feel. Going back into the dating scene is not my style. How do I grieve and let go? Please help. 😞😖😔
6 thoughts on “How do I grieve and let go?”
Find yourself a good Christian counselor. Seek out our lord and savior Jesus Christ. There are support groups such as Celebrate Recovery and Divorce Care. Seek to help others. I hope this helps. Good luck on your new life and may God bless every step.
Even though they have destroyed us in many ways they also were sparkly which is what makes people gravitate to them. You miss the sparkle the fire of liveliness they brought probably more than anything. Its like a drug almost with all the drama and excitement, good and bad. I got over it by journaling and reminding myself daily what and who they really were. Our minds have a way to trick us to remember the good times and forget the crazy abusive times. Right it down every day for awhile. For me it took over a year, but now wild horses couldn’t make me go back for another round of torture to my self esteem.
My history with my ex husband narcissist is long and painful. He has been gone 8 years. Some days it feels like yesterday and others years ago. If I have learned anything at all about grieving, in order to survive and move on, going NO CONTACT is a MUST. My ex husband re appears every now and again, and by engaging him, I find he is not sincere but only “checking “ to see if I still care. Then I have to go through the whole grieving process again. It lies dormant. The only way to truly move on is to grieve, give myself time to heal without jumping into another potentially bad relationship and most importantly going and staying NO CONTACT. That means no social media, no phone calls, texts, emails etc. I don’t listen to sad music or watch movies that make me hopeful for something unrealistic, thus prolonging my grief.
I would not recommend dating again yet. I know it’s been 8 months but this kind of grief and mourning takes longer. After grieving the death (yes, death) of your relationship, you need to spend time with friends, family, and coworkers who remind you that you are a good person worthy of a healthy significant other. Then you have to really see yourself as such. Because only when you value yourself, will you not settle for less than you deserve.
I’ve been keeping a diary and writing down my feelings and thoughts.
Write down everything you hated about him and how he treated you.
When you feel sad, missing him.
Re-read your notes. Those loving feelings soon disappear replacing them with the true feelings he deserves.
It has been 3 years (today) since he discarded me. I still suffer everyday, but I can state tangible improvement over time. I don’t know how long the pain will last. Maybe forever. But once I figured out what I was dealing with and knew how to handle it I have been empowered and I will never go back. He continues to email me. Very nice things, sometimes. I moved it to the “divorce” file in my email and move on. After 3 years it is not perfect, but it is better and I would take this pain over that pain any day.
Comments are closed.