Feels like I’m trapped

Feels like I’m trapped

I was with an abusive  misogynistic  monster for over 20 years since my early teens. I have three sons for him and finally left about five years ago. My sons are 21, 16 and 13 he does little to nothing positive in their lives yet they still adore him while at times seeing him for who he really is. Sad part is they have picked up so many of his ways along the way that at times dealing with them feels like PTSD or like I’m trapped in the horrible relationship I took too long to get out of. It’s to the point where I love them but can’t wait to raise them so I can separate from him and them for good. Any advice?

3 thoughts on “Feels like I’m trapped

  1. your sons are as much victims as you are. they have been raised to think his ways are normal. to admit anything else would be to accept he has lied to and abused them as well as you. not easy for them.there is little you can do now. the behaviour may change when they are adults.

  2. I do not have the answer but am feeling EXACTLY that way now. My kids are 18 and 20. Some days they know exactly who he is and other days the think he’s just great. The summer was so bad I could not wait for them to go to college. I needed them out of my life!! I saw all the characteristic traits of my ex in them!! Arrogance,entitlement,and absolutely no empathy or compassion!! I even told them not to contact me. When they need something they will need to call upon him!!! They know he is useless but I am hoping they learn that!!

  3. Same thing happened to me, I left with three teenagers after 20 years. I didn’t realize my kids would be like him, it makes sense now. I was suffering from ptsd when I left him and was in no position to be taking care of three kids with the same disorder. I hoped they would see him for what he was and come to their senses but it has been very difficult. They still suffer to this day. The way I cope is to have very strong boundaries. I also moved about 5 hours away.

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