Go back 10 or 20 years…. What advice would you give to your younger self?
Whilst no contact is recommended when dealing with someone with NPD, there are some things that we would just love to let them know. What would you say to the narcissist in your life?
One question we often ask ourselves is,
“Why did I put up with this crap for so long?”
Was it because we thought they would change?
Was it due to trauma bonding?
I am often asked if a narcissist is on their deathbed and asks to see you, should you go? Will there be some sort of recognition and apology for what they have done or will it just be a matter of hurting you one more time? What are your thoughts or experiences?
Some will say that forgiveness does more for the forgiver than the forgiven. Personally, I don’t believe that it is necessary to forgive in order to move on and put the past where it belongs. Did you forgive someone who wasn’t sorry for their actions?
Let’s take a hypothetical situation. You see the narcissist who hurt you deeply struggling in the water. You are in a position to throw them a life belt. Would you?
Narcissists regularly employ ‘The Silent Treatment’ as a means of control and / or
punishment which is devastating to those they target. Have you been subjected to this cruel mind game? If so how did it make you feel and how did you react?
I’m sure most of you have been witness to ‘narcissistic rage,’ which is not unlike a childhood temper tantrum. How did you react? Did you stand your ground or walk away?
Ostracism has been described as ‘a social death penalty’ and is absolutely devastating to the target. Sadly it is a tactic often used by narcissists. Have you been a target and how did you deal with it?
A child of a narcissist parent may grow up with feelings of low self esteem, feelings of never being good enough. How did your narcissistic parent affect how you feel about yourself?